Tiger Woods mentions Bone Thugs-N-Harmony in Texts with Mistress Jaimee Grubbs

Standard

December 9, 2009


Golf star Tiger Woods has been in the news daily after his early-morning Black Friday crash in November, which resulted in the revelation that shocked many: his affairs with numerous women. The story continues to get interesting but disgusting by the day, thanks to the money-hungry women who are providing the media with private information to keep their names in the news.

Jaimee Grubbs, one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses, is one of those women who seems to be enjoying the sudden minute of fame with constant media exposure, and it continues through private messages. Today, the New York Post obtained and published on its Web site text messages shared between Tiger and Jaimee, where Tiger randomly mentions Grammy Award-winning and multi-platinum rap group Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.

The text messages are shown below verbatim:

Tiger: Hey Sexy I can’t come out this week. Something came up family wise (July 20, 3:04 p.m.)

Jaimee: That’s okay I hope everything is fine … would have liked to see you

Tiger: We will make it happen

Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday (July 26, 11: 22 p.m.)

Tiger: what kind of present your naked body

Jaimee: haha no a watch I slept alone

Tiger: alone with him that is

Jaimee: haha I wish

Jaimee: miss u (Sept. 27, 6:38 p.m.)

Tiger: now that’s hot so who is your new boy toy

Jaimee: no new boy toy … still running dry… been on 2 real dates in the pat 2 months 😦

Tiger: I need you

Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u

Tiger: I will wear you out soon

Jaimee: how soon? I got a new piercing

Tiger: really. Where

Jaimee: I just sent u a pic of it … is on my cheek below my eye … implanted a little diamond

Tiger: send it again. I didn’t pick up on that

Tiger: you just need some attention from me

Tiger: do you have a boy friend (8:45 p.m.)

Jaimee: I don’t even have someone I am dating … no … u can be my boyfriend 😉

Tiger: then I am

Jaimee: I wish

Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together

Tiger: when was the last time you got laid

Jaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha (Sept. 30, 3:38 p.m.)

Tiger: oh god

Jaimee: take a break from watching boring old golf

Jaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf 😉

Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kidding

Tiger: I know sexy

Jaimee: is it orange county time yet? (Oct. 1, 6:06 p.m.)

Tiger: oh stop 🙂

Jaimee: hahaha I know … but you canceled on me last time so the anticipation is killing me … im finding myself watching sports center … haha j/k it isn’t that bad

Tiger: its never been that bad

Jaimee: very true … I only watch football

Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.

Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special

Tiger: why do I not believe that?

Tiger: [later, in response to Jaimee’s mention of a date who was “full of himself”] you kinda like that for some reason which is weird why you decided on me.

Tiger: having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself

Jaimee: I have fun with u, you always make me smile and I am not afraid to be myself or say anything to u … the day I met u I thought u were going to kick me out a few times but for someone reason you didn’t and u have told me numerous times I talk to much but slowly as I get to know u iI think your absolutely amazing

Tiger: you are wrong I’m bone thugs in harmony

Jaimee: Something wrong babe?I was excited to sepnd time with u this week (Oct. 15, 6:40 p.m.)

Tiger: I will you Sunda night. Its the only night in which I am totally free but I have to leave at 530 Monday morning to drive up to the valley for an outing for one of my sponsors. See you at 8 pm on Sunday in newport

Tiger: don’t text me back till tomorrow morning. I have to many people around me right now

Tiger: send me something very naughty (Oct. 18, 3:40 p.m.)

Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol … besides im at work

Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it

Jaimee: haha ur too much

Jaimee: are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport 😦 I am lonely now … i like falling asleep in your arms (Oct. 18, 11:38 p.m.)

Tiger: sorry baby I just can’t sleep. Its just a problem I have

Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning

Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn’t sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more … find out why I keep falling more and more for u 😉

Tiger: Because I’m blasian 🙂

Tiger: I’m sorry babe. Im already home.

Jaimee: I’m putting my underwear back on … thats a no no … come take them off

Tiger: 🙂 you are too funny

Tiger: happy thanksgiving to you (Nov. 26, 11:16 a.m.)

Jaimee: u too love

The Bone Thugs-N-Harmony reference comes out of nowhere and can render a few interpretations, but two are logical: (1) because Bone is known for canceling shows and showing up late for events, perhaps his comment stems from that; or (2) because Bone is known for its rapid-fire rapping style, perhaps his comment stems from each member’s quickness. The latter seems more logical.

Nonetheless, with Bone’s new album, UNI-5: The World’s Enemy, slated to hit store shelves in March 2010, this unexpected line by Tiger is actually good promotion. In truth, Tiger manages to promote Bone in one line more efficiently than the group’s Brand Engine management team in 2009. It’s sad but true.

Tiger’s random Bone reference is interesting but irrelevant. What is more interesting are the full text messages and how they became public via Jaimee.

Tiger, for weeks, has been verbally attacked in the media for cheating on his wife and his sexual escapades with various women. His privacy has been violated, not only by the women who publicly show their faces for attention but by the information that they provide to the media – and the text herein shows that.

Thus far, Tiger has been linked to 11 women: (1) Rachel Uchitel, 34-year-old club hostess; (2) Jaimee Grubbs, 24-year-old reality show contestant and cocktail waitress; (3) Kalika Moquin, 27-year-old club manager in Las Vegas; (4) Holly Sampson, porn star; (5) Veronica Siwik-Daniels (aka Joslyn Jame), hardcore porn star; (6) Cori Rist, 31-year-old swimsuit model; (7) Jamie Jungers, 26-year-old former employee of Trashy Girls Lingerie; (8) Mindy Lawton, 33-year-old pancake housewaitress; (9) unidentified former cocktail waitress in Orlando, FL; (10) unidentified British reporter; (11) unidentified woman reported in a UK paper.

Yes, Tiger committed adultery, made wrong decisions, and behaved badly. Yes, he willingly cheated on his wife Elin Nordegren several times and disrespected himself, his spouse, and his family. Yes, Tiger’s transgressions were uncalled for and should not be supported or excused, for he acted stupidly – and dishonored his wife and marriage vow in the worst way. Consequently, he should be accountable for his actions and criticized heavily. No person should have any sympathy for what he’s going through, for he placed himself in that position and jeopardized the health of his wife and future earnings. However, these women should not be given any airtime to publicize their sadness while speaking on their relationships with Tiger. More important, they should not be treated as victims, because they are not. The true victims are Tiger’s wife and his children. The mistresses represent participants in the destruction of a marriage.

Any woman who knowingly sleeps with a married man should not be pampered and cuddled with cute comments of sorrow. Rather, they should be excoriated equally as the man for ruining a marriage and a family that will never be the same again.

For some odd reason, some women refuse to accept this simple ideology of equal blame but rather endorse a double standard: attack a husband who cheats on his wife (because “all men cheat” and “all men are dogs”), while holding back any contempt at the woman who participated in the affair – as if she’s absolved from her actions.

If Tiger’s infidelity causes people to label him a “dirty dog” and a “man-whore” for his actions, then his participating mistresses should also be labeled with similar offensive words.

These women, especially Jaimee, who decided to go public after Rachel’s rumored affair with Tiger, are nothing but slut-whores looking for quick fame and monetary stability through Tiger. These reported mistresses are trashy (e.g., some of their professions speak for themselves), uncultured, unethical, and slutty – and should be lambasted in the media equally as Tiger.

His already-damaged reputation should not be facilitated any longer by these rapaciously money-hungry women who are claiming to have private e-mails, voice mails, pictures, text messages, and the like. Most disturbing is that fact that some of these women are hiring lawyers to negotiate a monetary deal with Tiger’s legal team to keep quiet and preclude any information from coming out.

Unfortunately, damaging information has been released with more rapidly forthcoming to humiliate and embarrass Tiger even more. Reports claim that one of Tiger’s mistresses has already sold naked pictures of the golf star to Playgirl. According to Playgirl, it does have the alleged naked pictures of Tiger and plans to possibly release them, after confirming their authenticity. This type of scandalous action by this mistress represents greed at its finest and a woman who lacks character.

Fittingly, Tiger has become hated by many women the world over. Using Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s forthcoming album title in this context, he seems to be the world’s enemy. If Tiger is being treated like the world’s enemy, the women that are seeking monetary compensation to remain silent, or decide to sell anything damaging involving Tiger for profit should also be treated as such for sleeping with a married man. They deserve no respect whatsoever.

In truth, these women are nothing more than gold diggers – not to mention pure refined slut-whores for knowingly sleeping with a married man and having the audacity to come out publicly to exploit his fame and richness.

***

Originally published December 9, 2009 via now-defunct Examiner.com

Advertisements

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony Plans Think Tank 4 in Los Angeles, CA – 11/27/09

Standard

November 25, 2009


Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s manager Bobby Francis has scheduled yet another think tank for Friday, November 27, 2009, dubbing the event Think Tank 4. Like the prior think tank in October, it will be streamed live via BTNHBoard.com exclusively.

Strangely, it takes place after Thanksgiving Day, Black Friday (one of the busiest shopping days of the year)?

Information for this upcoming event has been kept under wraps; in fact, the location has not been disclosed. This is not out of the ordinary with Bone’s Brand Engine management team, because the prior think tanks were approached and executed in the same manner.

Those who were selected to attend prior events were given a meet-up location on the day of the event and, in turn, were told the exact location of where the think tank would be held.

Despite the lack of information from Bone’s management team, those who attend or watch the live stream can expect a similar show like Think Tank 3 – new songs will be played from Bone’s upcoming album and attendees will give their opinions on a paper that will be collected at the end. (Think Tank 3 was held in Burbank, California on Friday, October 23, 2009.)

In short, Think Tank 3 was a major success – even though it started more than four hours late and ran into the early-morning hours. All five members were present and performed their “See Me Shine” single with a live band; fans even paid homage to Bone by performing their songs. With success, however, came some form of problems by way of Bobby Francis.

This is why the announcement of another think tank caught many Bone fans by surprise, considering how angry and combative Bobby Francis was toward fans after Think Tank 3. Why? Because the 20-plus songs that were played online – via the live stream – were later uploaded onto YouTube for millions to hear.

Bobby, unsurprisingly, started attacking and threatening fans by claiming those who uploaded songs onto the Internet have jeopardized the release of Bone’s new album and will never be a part of what he and/or Bone is doing (if the songs were not removed). He continued his unruliness with the usual “haters” and his “they don’t wanna see me shine” verbiage.

From the beginning of these events, many people were intrigued and questioned the purpose of these gatherings and the beneficial value it would have for Bone, and it continues with Think Tank 4. Some think it’s a great way for Bone to interact with fans (and hear their opinions), while others claim it’s a waste of time. Both arguments make sense: The former is true because it does allow interaction, and the latter is true because it does not benefit Bone in any fashion (e.g., it does not provide promotion).

In truth, fans are the only ones who benefit from these events.

Bone’s new album UNI-5: The World’s Enemy is scheduled to be released by Warner Bros. Records on December 22, 2009 – and not one ounce of decent promotion has been rendered. Due to the lack of promotion, a couple of questions must be asked: Shouldn’t Bobby and his Brand Engine team put their energy somewhere that will be advantageous for Bone and their new album rather than executing another think tank? Shouldn’t more emphasis be placed on a broader audience rather than Bone fans who will naturally support and buy the album when it comes out?

These are basic questions that a manager should ask himself/herself when representing an artist, but it seems like Bobby and his team have no answer, or maybe their lack of experience precludes them from finding an answer regarding proper promotion and showcasing it with action. Thus, they organize marketing gimmicks and call it promotion.

Every artist should cater to their fans, but this catering by Bone via Brand Engine has gone too far and is senseless. How many think tanks need to be held by Brand Engine for someone in their circle to conclude that they are not providing any promotion? With one month left until the album is shipped to stores, more emphasis should be placed elsewhere to attract non-fans, for they are the ones that should be catered to and enticed to buy the album when it comes out – not long-standing fans.

More devastating to Bone is the fact that many people have no clue they have a new album coming out, because their “See Me Shine” single has not been consistently promoted on the radio nor with a video.

Record labels are usually the primary advertisers for their artists’ material, which begs the question on Warner Bros. Records’ role in regard to promotion. However, it does not mean that an artist’s management team should ignore promotion by holding events that serve no purpose for its artists – and that is precisely what Brand Engine is doing.

Nonetheless, if Think Tank 4 is anything like Think Tank 3, it will be a success and an enjoyable experience for the fans; however, it will not be a success for Bone because it will provide no promotion, nor will it attract non-fans.

For this reason, it would not be surprising if Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s new album, The World’s Enemy, is delayed and pushed back to 2010.

*  *  *

Originally published November 25, 2009 via now-defunct Examiner.com

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony Plans Think Tank 3 in Los Angeles, CA – 10/23/09

Standard

October 19, 2009


Orchestrated by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s management team, the group will be holding a think tank Friday, October 23, 2009, in Los Angeles, California to promote their upcoming album called The World’s Enemy. This will be the third think tank thus far.

The first and second think tank, also held in California, had a sense of secrecy and exclusiveness, allowing only a selected few to participate. However, this think tank will be inclusive for everyone. According to Bone’s manager Bobby Francis, this will be the biggest think tank yet.

Because this event will be held in California, leaving many fans elsewhere unable to attend, the owner of BTNHBoard (Gibbs) in conjunction with Bone’s team decided it would be beneficial to stream the event online, and that is the plan for Think Tank 3 (allowing fans from afar to watch from their computers).

The live streaming of this event can be watched via BTNHBoard.com, Bone Thugs’ official forum.

Unlike the prior two think tanks, all five members will be present: Krayzie Bone, Layzie Bone, Bizzy Bone, Wish Bone, and Flesh-n-Bone.

Think tanks are usually occupied by a panel of experts in a specific field; however, this think tank will be occupied by fans and the media, most of whom have no expertise in the music industry or how it works. Therefore, it is safe to say that the attendees will not be the ultimate deciders of how the album is executed, but rather attendees that provide their feedback and/or advice on songs and other issues.

Bone has not used a think tank in fifteen years, so this is a new approach. Their albums in the past have been released without the help of the public’s opinions and garnered success. Their upcoming album will be no different, because fans will not be decision-makers. The final decision of how the album will be constructed and what songs make the final tracklist will come from Bone and Warner Bros. Records collectively.

Some people may still wonder and ask one simple question: Why is a multiplatinum-selling and Grammy Award-winning group holding a public think tank? According to Bone’s manager, these think tanks are held to give fans the opportunity to meet and interact with Bone members and to experience the “best fan-family experience.”

The exact details of what will happen at this event are not yet known. The location has not even been announced.

However, there are rumors that claim the album will be played in its entirety. This is very questionable. There is no doubt that some songs will be played, similar to the prior think tanks, to give the attendees a taste of what The World’s Enemy will sound like, but playing an entire album is unlikely and will most likely not happen.

Even though this event is dubbed Think Tank 3, and opened to the fans and the media, one should expect a press conference-like approach, where a question-and-answer session takes place regarding their upcoming album.

*  *  *

Originally published Oct. 19, 2009 via now-defunct Examiner.com

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s Reunion Press Conference, Moderator Debacle – 10/21/09

Standard

October 22, 2009


Bone Thugs-N-Harmony held a press conference via Ustream on Wednesday afternoon in Los Angeles, California. The press conference was scheduled to start at 4:00 PM but started around 4:20 PM (7:20 Eastern Time).

While the group’s 1995 hit song “1st of Tha Month” played in the background, each member entered and took his seat. Flesh-n-Bone entered first, followed by Layzie Bone, Wish Bone, Krayzie Bone, and Bizzy Bone.

The press conference started off pretty well, because the questions were coming from the attendees present (i.e., the press). That all changed when the questions from fans started streaming in from online. This is when the press conference shifted and had an uncanny and amateurish ambiance.

The first strange question concerned horror movies: “Are you still inspired by horror movies since your first tape is Faces of Death?” (“What’s the last good scary movie you saw?”)

The question alone was off because it insinuates that they were already inspired by horror movies, which somehow precipitated the recording of that album. In fact, Faces of Death, a 1993 underground album, has absolutely no connection to horror movies, so why the question was asked by a fan, let alone selected by the moderator, was beyond strange.

The question of course received a giggle from Wish. Nonetheless, Flesh answered the question the best he could, stating that their upcoming album will not be influenced by horror movies. He also added he watches horror movies and at times has nightmares.

The second strange question by a fan concerned the Mayan Calendar which alleges the end of the world: “Does Bone have anything special planned for the Mayan apocalypse predicted on December 21, 2012?”

Again, Wish found the question funny and answered jokingly, “Yeah get you some can and soup.” Thereafter, Wish took a serious approach and answered with an intelligent response, followed by Flesh, who appropriately responded by saying that no one can predict the end of the world but God.

The third strange question concerned donuts; yes donuts: “Where do y’all go for donuts?”

By far, this question was horrible and received some laughs, not to mention some strange faces by the members. The members that responded, however, had the presence of mind to keep their responses short and moved on, for they knew the question was meaningless and only presented by a fan to generate laughter. Unfortunately, the moderator felt the need to present the question.

As the press conference continued, viewers were probably thinking, what’s next?

Considering the horrible questions that were asked by fans – and strangely selected by the moderator – it would not be surprising if questions pertaining to “what food do you guys eat for breakfast” or “what toothpaste do you guys use to brush your teeth” were asked.

That’s how ridiculous the questions were, including one being asked about a former Mo Thugs artist named Powder P, and another concerning the marriage of Layzie and his wife Felicia.

Aside from Bizzy’s constant spitting into his napkin, the members collectively acted professionally, answered each question intelligently and to the best of their abilities, including the nonsense and fatuous questions.

Thankfully, Bizzy saved the day when he stood up and said he had a duty to fulfill. The press conference was about 38 minutes long. Had it gone on even further, it would have been more embarrassing – thanks to the moderator.

For some strange reason, the pointless questions fascinated him. The only selected question that was important concerned the gravesite of Eric “Eazy-E” Wright, their mentor who died in 1995 after signing the group to his Ruthless Records. Other than that, the moderator did a horrible job with the selection of questions from fans. He was unprofessional and should have selected the rational and important questions instead of the silly questions, but he decided to go with the latter.

Many fans anticipated this press conference because they were under the impression that information would be presented concerning their upcoming album, but that was not the case. Questions about an official single, a video, or anything pertaining to future music were not presented.

In essence, the press conference began with fans not knowing much about the album and ended with fans not knowing much about the album. The only important information that came from this press conference was the release date of The World’s Enemy, December 15, 2009.

For what Bone Thugs-N-Harmony has done in the music industry for 15 years and counting, they deserved a press conference better than what they were given – and the group’s Brand Engine management team did not present a level of professionalism at all. Rather, an amateurish press conference was organized, which makes perfect sense why the members looked uninterested and uncomfortable at times.

Seeing the members side by side was an impressive sight, however. Each member handled himself well with the situation that he was put into, and did an amazing job with the questions that he was presented.

*  *  *

Originally published October 22, 2009 via now-defunct Examiner.com

Movie Review: Kickboxer: Retaliation (2018)

Standard

January 20, 2018


When it comes to a fighting movie, whether it be a boxing or martial arts, the viewers already know the end result: The protagonist comes out victorious by defeating the villain. Moreover, it usually happens in dramatic fashion, where the protagonist suffers a major beat-down by the villain initially and, at the end, he miraculous recovers his strength to win the fight. It’s a premise that is not a secret and has been witnessed in a plethora of fighting movies. In Kickboxer: Retaliation, the second installment of a possible trilogy, that script remains true.

However, it is up to the director to present a storyline that creates interest, leading up to a climatic fight and happy ending. Unfortunately, Kickboxer: Retaliation does not have an interesting storyline. The script, in fact, presents an unoriginal storyline that has been told many times, simply executed with different actors. Unlike the first installment, Kickboxer: Vengeance (2016), which was written by Dimitri Logothetis and directed by John Stockwell, Logothetis plays the role of both director and writer in the sequel; Jim McGrath serves as co-writer. Still, the film is not very good, despite being better than the first.

Alain Moussi (Kurt Sloane) reprises his role as the protagonist from the previous film. His new formidable enemy – Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson as Mongkut – represents a colossal of a beast who stands 6 feet and 9 inches tall and weighs over 400 pounds. Jean-Claude Van Damme (Master Durand), Sara Malakul Lane (Liu), and Sam Medina (Crawford) return to reprise their respective roles. Notable newcomers include boxing legend Mike Tyson, Christopher Lambert, former soccer star Ronaldinho, and MMA fighter Roy Nelson.

The film starts off with an interesting pre-induction scene, where Kurt and his wife Liu are salaciously slow dancing inside of a moving train. The mood represents a festive atmosphere until a man enters the train, walks behind Kurt, and points a gun behind his head. Chaos ensues. Chud (Wanderlei Silva) and a few other fighters enter, swinging around sharply large ax-like weapons, and Kurt defeats them. During this chaos, Liu is kidnapped and taken out of the train. A woman wearing dark-shade eyeglasses enter the train, and she too is defeated but not out. Kurt goes outside of the train to find his wife, and climbs atop the moving train, where it is heavily pouring in the night, and meets the woman again with another foe. He fights them both and defeats them. Thereafter, his leg gets caught up in a chain, causing him to fall off the moving train and into a body of water. (This scene, which happens to be a dream, is pretty good.)

The film officially begins by showing flashbacks of Van Damme’s classic 1989 Kickboxer movie, along with the reboot Kickboxer: Vengeance (2016). The scene then transitions into an octagon ring in Las Vegas, where Kurt is fighting an opponent he defeats via an armbar submission. Thereafter, two U.S. Marshalls are waiting to arrest Kurt for the murder of Tong Po (Dave Bautista) in Thailand, his foe in the prior installment. Their weapon of choice to bring him in is none other than a Taser, a very familiar scene from the past. While one Marshall shows Kurt his badge to confirm his identity, the other Marshall sneaks behind Kurt and Tasers him.

This scene resembles Van Damme’s 1988 classic Bloodsport movie, where two U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Command (CID) officers, Rawlins (Forest Whittaker) and Helmer (Norman Burton), are ordered to track him down in Hong Kong and bring him back to the U.S. When Rawlins and Helmer locate Frank Dux inside of a hotel, they pull out Tasers to subdue him, but he escapes.

The unoriginal scene can not be ignored, not to mention the strange dialogue and poor acting skills – two issues that seem to be prevalent throughout.

The subsequent scene shows Kurt in shackles on the ground, getting punched by Crawford, while looking up at fight promoter Thomas Moore (Christopher Lambert). As Thomas speaks, Crawford takes joy in beating Kurt into submission. For the killing of his former foe, Tong Po, Thomas proposes that he must defend his title by fighting again; Kurt replies, “Never again!” While Crawford continues with his onslaught, Kurt, in handcuffs, states: “Touch me again and I’ll break your nose.” He keeps his words by head-butting Crawford. The dialogue is so ridiculously silly, it’s funny, even Thomas laughs.

Thomas then takes Kurt, in shackles, to meet his opponent – and Mongkut steps out shirtless. Not only does Mongkut embody an unhuman-like frame, he looks dangerously scary; the man is a massive of a mammoth. More frightening, his chemist provides him performance-enhancement drugs via needle injections to improve his strength. According to his chemist, he’s “a superior human specimen.” It’s hard to deny such statement, for he represents a tank.

To sweeten up the proposal, which happens to be an ultimatum, Thomas entices Kurt with a $1 million (tax-free) prize to regain his freedom by accepting the fight, or he will spend the rest of his life in prison.

During his prison stay, he gets into his first fight with fellow inmates. Fellow inmate Roy Nelson (appearing as himself) wants to help, but Kurt says “I got this” and telegraphs the injuries that will be inflicted upon his foes and defeats them. The fight continues as more challengers come forth and each man is dispatched accordingly, in a fight sequence that renders no excitement. For his disruption, Kurt is punished by being violently lashed on a wood apparatus that forms the letter X, where he screams with each whip as blood drips from his body.

Thomas wants an answer from Kurt and convinces him to take the fight to no avail. However, Kurt has a question for Thomas via an insipid one-liner: “When you were a kid, did you get your ass kicked much?”

Kurt finds himself in trouble once more after stealing a prison guard’s cellphone. Again, he is tied against the X-shaped, wood, apparatus and violently lashed.

As expected, he gets into another fight with an inmate named Nunchaku Man (James P. Bennett), who wields a nunchuks and defeats him quickly. During this fight, he comes across Briggs (Mike Tyson), who angrily tells Kurt the following: “You’re interrupting my meditation.” Kurt responds with the following line: “Meditation, really; does that help you stay calm?” This dialogue is truly inane but funny; it would be criminal for viewers not to laugh. Nonetheless, Briggs punches him in the stomach and they begin to fight. This fight scene is pretty interesting and lasts about two minutes, where Briggs executes a flurry of hard punches, leaving Kurt stunned. The fight comes to an end with a super uppercut which causes Kurt to go into a slow-motion backflip effect in defeat.

For a third time, Kurt finds himself tied up – with Briggs – against the X-shaped apparatus, where he screams in agonizing pain as the lashes open deep wounds and bloody his back. Briggs, on the other hand, takes his violent lashing without making a sound. (They ultimately become friends.)

Eventually, Kurt meets his long-time trainer Master Durand (Van Damme) inside of the prison, and shockingly finds out that he is blind at the hands of Thomas for taking part in the death of Tong Po.

After two weeks in jail and still unwilling to fight Mongkut, Thomas goes to the extreme and orders his underlings to kidnap his wife to convincingly infuriate Kurt to fight. To some degree, this tactic resembles the same plotline that happens in the original Kickboxer (1989), where wheelchair-bound Eric Sloan is kidnapped with the intent to blackmail Kurt into losing the fight against Tong Po. Unsurprisingly, Kurt agrees to the fight and begins to train. His trainers are both Master Durand and Briggs, the former obviously serves as his primary trainer. Other inmates within the prison also help him prepare for his fight such as Roy Nelson, Ronaldo (Ronaldinho), Fabricio Werdum (appearing as himself), etc.

When Durand and Briggs come together to converse about Kurt’s training, it renders a dialogue that is hilariously stupid-funny and must be detailed herein in its entirety. While Briggs trains Kurt, Durand shows up and prompts a dialogue by asking:

“How’s the training going?”
“He’s getting it,” Briggs responds with a smile on his face.
“Oh yeah? He’ll never get it,” Durand replies.
“Oh, he got it in him,” Briggs says with confidence.
“Listen, Briggs! I know his skills and he may never be that good,” Durand exclaims fervently.
“He’ll beat Mongkut; guaranteed,” Briggs responds with passion.
“You mention Mongkut one more time, I’ll smash your big face,” Durand says with anger.
“Oh, really?”

Thereafter, the two get into fighting position and begin to fight, a very brief (and harmless) fight sequence that Kurt stops by getting between them. (The platitude of their back-and-forth dialogue will definitely be remembered.)

With permission from fight promoter Thomas, Kurt takes his training outside of the prison walls, while being shadowed by one of Thomas’ underlings. Durand and Gamon (Jessica Jann) accompany Kurt to an underground fighting venue, where Joseph King (Steven Spadling) sets up an impromptu fight against his best fighter named Moss (Rico Verhoeven). Expectedly, Kurt wins convincingly in another uninteresting fight scene.

After the fight, with a predetermined plan, Gamon causes a commotion which allows Kurt to escape with one of Thomas’ men, beating him into submission to reveal his wife’s whereabouts. When he reaches the proximity of where she is being captive, Kurt fights his way through enemies that are trying to prevent him from reaching the location. This choreographed fight scene represents absurdity at its finest, and musically supported with The Surfaris’ 1963 song named “Wipe Out.” To select this song for a fighting scene, out of all the songs in the world, is incomprehensible.

When Kurt finally reaches the destination, where his wife is located, he meets Thomas along with two half-naked women (with fluorescent back tattoos) who challenge him to a fight. The women run into a gloomy room filled with mirrors, where Kurt follows but gets confused because of the illusion of the mirrors.

This fight scene mirrors that of Bruce Lee’s 1973 movie Enter the Dragon, where Lee chases Han (Shih Kien) into a room occupied with many mirrors, serving as an illusion to confuse Lee. However, Lee breaks the mirrors to find Han and kills him. In Kickboxer: Retaliation, the same thing occurs: Kurt looks confused with the various mirrors; therefore, he breaks a few mirrors to locate the women and defeats them.

At the end, Kurt and Mongkut finally meet in a fighting scene that runs over twenty minutes. In Bloodsport, Bolo (Chong Li) threatens Frank Dux with the following words: “You break my record; now I break you like I break your friend.” In the original Kickboxer, Tong Po taunts and insults Kurt by naming his girlfriend after raping her: “You bleed like Mylee; Mylee good fuck.” Likewise, in Kickboxer: Retaliation, Mongkut threatens Kurt and brings up wishes to satisfy his wife sexually: “When I kill you, I’m gonna keep that sweet ass warm at night.”

During this final battle, there are some good scenes and other ridiculous scenes (especially Kurt’s revival via a needle); nonetheless, the fight represents a satisfactory ending to a film that runs longer than it should have.

As a whole, Kickboxer: Retaliation represents an unexciting film – despite a few occasional good scenes. In fact, the film provides sequences of other films which are told and visually shown in a different manner; the originality that every film deserves is simply absent. The Taser scene in the opening, the constant kidnapping plot from prior movies, and the usage of Lee’s mirror illusion from Enter the Dragon are clear examples. The acting and dialogue are problematic throughout the film. Some scenes are bad while others are awfully terrible.

Alain Moussi (as the protagonist Kurt) is a great fighter, but he does not have enough charisma and acting prowess to carry a film. He’s not believable. There is no other way of characterizing his performance; it’s honestly boring and brings no excitement. Van Damme is not an excellent actor, but when he plays a protagonist, his charisma shines; his believable personality carries the role he is assigned to portray and makes it interesting, which is why many of his films in the 80s and 90s are classics.

In regard to the script, written by director Logothetis and co-writer Jim McGrath, it fails badly and represents a lackluster manuscript filled with an assemblage of humdrum wordplay that serves as a fodder for laughter. Moreover, the editing of the film does not present a bright spot, because it seems to be all over the place. The transitions from scene to scene present a clumsiness of unorganized disorder. With the exception of the pre-induction dancing scene, which provides a musical that properly supports the slow dancing, the music selection (or lack thereof) does not complement the fight scenes whatsoever.

As stated in the forefront, the protagonist of a fighting movie usually comes out victorious at the end, a statement that renders truth in this film. As a result, a robust and interesting script must be executed to help the characters grow (and showcase some charisma) as they move along with their respective roles. Moreover, a robust script keeps viewers entertained and connect with the protagonist through the character he portrays. Unfortunately, writer and director Dimitri Logothetis’ Kickboxer: Retaliation fails to capture any spark of interest, for the script represents an unoriginal mess and the main character is vapidly bland at best. (This film releases in U.S. theaters on Friday, January 26, 2018.)

On a scale of A+ to F, Kickboxer: Retaliation receives a D+ grade.

Video Game Review: Madden NFL 09 (Xbox 360)

Standard

August 30, 2008


The Madden NFL series by Electronic Arts (EA) is the best-selling football game series of all time, reaching a milestone of 20 years (1989-2009). Before the latest Madden NFL release on August 12, 2008, EA launched an advertising campaign (commercials, trailers, teasers), depicting how great the gameplay would be and how fans would be satisfied. Due to its 20th year anniversary, the publicity was robust like never before, causing many loyal fans to salivate and await its arrival. But did EA bring the goods with Madden NFL 09? Absolutely not! Not only did EA not deliver the goods, but EA delivered a game filled with glitches and freezing issues.

With many problems found by consumers during the first week of its release, consumers started venting their frustration on many Internet video game forums and YouTube. Learning of the complaints, EA said it would investigate the issue and provide a patch (e.g., “patch 1”).

On August 26, 2008, EA published an article-like blog by Ian Cummings (Senior Designer, Madden NFL 2010) on its site, titled “Two Weeks of Madden NFL 09,” explaining how “patch 2” will remedy some problems. This article is facetiously interesting and will be  quoted herein when necessary.

This review will comprehensively detail the most important issue (i.e., the freezing bug) in the latter, while other glitches are addressed early on.

LOS LIMIT
The line of scrimmage (LOS) limit is useless during gameplay. The quarterback can scramble from the backfield while being pressured, pass the line of scrimmage and complete a pass to his receiver without any penalty. More devastating to the defense is this: the defensive back (DB) breaks coverage and leave the receiver wide open, causing the QB to complete a deep pass.

To combat this glitch, Senior Designer Cummings states:

“We addressed this by making sure the DB will no longer break on the ball when the QB crosses the line while throwing.”

This means that the QB crossing the line of scrimmage (even though it is a violation/penalty) will remain in the gameplay, while the defensive back stay with his man and not break coverage.

USELESS PLAYER RATINGS
This glitch is perhaps the most disheartening glitch during gameplay.  Players’ ratings are put in the game for a reason and expected to have an impact and mean something, but they do not mean anything.  EA developers added the ratings for the hell of it and for show – knowing they will be useless on the field and hoping gamers would not realize its uselessness.  There have been many instances where QBs run over defenders and dishrag them around as if the defenders are Barbie Dolls.  During a game against the New York Jets, QB Chad Pennington trucks DE Jason Taylor and then MLB Channing Crowder, and was later gang tackled.  Such nonsense like this does not happen in real life and never would; it’s impossible, especially against DE Taylor.

To show how useless and unrealistic the players’ ratings are, three of these players will be evaluated.  Because there are so many attributes, only the important ones will be mentioned: Overall, Strength, Trucking, and Tackle.

QB Chad Pennington’s (6’3”/255 LBS) ratings: Overall: 81; Strength: 49; Trucking: 40; Tackle: 14.

DE Jason Taylor’s (6’6”/260 LBS) ratings: Overall: 98; Strength: 77; Trucking 10; Tackle: 80.

MLB Channing Crowder’s (6’2”/242 LBS) ratings: Overall: 85; Strength: 77; Trucking: 10; Tackle: 89.

The disparity in Jason’s and Crowder’s trucking compared to Pennington’s is fickle and quite funny.  How can a QB have a better trucking attribute than defensive players? Moreover, how could the strength of both Taylor and Crowder have no ability to render a tackle when their strengths are higher?  Quarterbacks are not known for their trucking ability because they don’t truck.  When QBs break the line of scrimmage, they run for yards and slide on the ground or run out-of-bounds to avoid a hit (that’s common), so for Pennington to have a trucking ability is fantasy; he doesn’t even have the strength to truck.

Although he rarely did, it would be believable if a former QB like Michael Vick trunks and abuses a defender because he has the speed, agility, power, elusiveness, and more. In fact, he was known for making players look silly on the gridiron, but Pennington and other present QBs?  It won’t happen. It’s foolish.

Strangely, there are even punters/kickers who have better trucking ratings than defensive players, making this glitch even more absurd: Dolphins’ B. Fields, 45; Eagles’ S. Rocca, 74; Jaguars’ A. Podlesh, 35, etc. Never have a punter truck anybody in the NFL; it if occurred, it was rare.  Basically, anyone can truck and throw aside any player in this game; the difficulty levels (even on All Madden) and ratings mean nothing.  The physics is severely broken and means nothing.

POOR TACKLING
The tackling ability is poor at best.  There is no other way to say it, because the tackling EA implemented this year is not authentic.  Everyone (especially CPU) in this game seems to have the ability to breakaway and spin away from unexplainable easy tackles like never before, even when tackled by two players simultaneously.  All the players on the field appear to be on superman mode.  A player such as a RB can actually get hit by a defender, fall back and lose leverage, and without even putting his hand on the ground to gain his balance, he breaks the tackle(s) and continues running.  The Laws of Physics demonstrate that such occurrence can not happen.  This kind of absurdity can happen with any player, from a QB to a WR, from a DB to a PR.  Don’t weight, force, leverage, power, motion, and other physical mechanics matter anymore?

Hall of Fame RB Barry Sanders (the best RB in NFL’s history) defied the laws of physics by doing some incredible things – and simply murdering and making his defenders look foolish: breaking 3 to 4 tackles at the same time; leaving his feet and landing on his feet; losing leverage and mysteriously rebounding; breaking heel tackles; trucking defenders; sniff-arming defenders with ease; escaping from two defenders while wrapped up; making defenders embarrassingly jump one way as he gained more yards or scored a touchdown; dragging defenders forward as he ran, etc.  It wouldn’t be problematic if a few players had some of these abilities, but everyone on the field?  Not only do players embody Sanders’ unique motif, but their uniform seems to be drenched with Vaseline, which makes tackling a chore.

USER CATCH/SPIN-CATCH
In Madden NFL 08, the user catch was good and not so irritating.  This year’s Madden version is a different story.  Under user control, a WR can run down the field open and have a clean bomb, but once the ball is about to be caught, the WR jumps up and does a strange spin-catch, allowing defenders to gain ground and make a tackle. There is no way a WR can be running downfield alone at full speed and mysteriously turn around and do a spin-catch, when he could have easily continue his stride and catch the ball by turning his head around.  (At times, the WR doesn’t even react to the ball, even if it’s at arm’s reach, when he is guided by the user.)  Maybe this happens because the QB leads the WR poorly by throwing a bad pass, which is a common problem too, but it still shouldn’t happen because receivers don’t react in such manner when catching the ball.

The spin-catch affects the offense tremendously and seems to be an often occurrence. Spin-catches are done in real life, but the way EA executed this feature is unrealistic. When a receiver lines up and does a slant route, he does not jump and spin, showing his back when the ball is in the air, to catch it.  In a slant route, a WR runs to the ball and reach out for a catch; if the ball is thrown high (beyond his ability to catch it), then he jumps for the ball with his face focused on the position of the ball in order to catch it.  A receiver never turns his back, losing the sight of the football, and catches it in slant routes. It’s neither possible nor is it logical.

Moreover, there have been times when a simple screen play is done and, for some reason, the RB spins and jumps and catches the ball by turning around for no reason. There is no way to explain why uncanny stuff like this occurs, and why EA implemented a dismal/impractical spin-catch feature when the game is marketed as a “real” football simulation.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE?
By definition, artificial intelligence (AI) is the ability of a computer to execute functions that usually require human intelligence.  No one expects the AI to be perfect, because humans are not perfect.  However, people don’t expect AI to lack the intelligence of common sense, and that’s what they lack in this latest installment.  They don’t block nor do they care to block; they stand around and investigate the scene as if they are FBI agents; they miss easy interceptions by not putting up their hands, and more.  These unresponsive issues are a headache.  The user can only control one player at a time instead of his entire team, so he expects computer assistance. Sometimes they act on impulse, and most of the time they don’t.  When the latter occurs, it is simply a mess.

For example, when a RB play is called, an offensive lineman (OL) could be directly in front of him as he runs and for some strange reason, the OL moves out the way and just stands there, leaving his own teammate defenseless while defenders are converging. Why would an OL abandon a block and simply stand there or aid another OL hold off a defender that is irrelevant to the play, allowing his RB to be tackled? This lack of common sense is mind-boggling, and would never happen in a real life football game. This is not AI; this is what I call PD, Pure Dumbness.

In Madden NFL 04 and 05, EA added a great feature that allowed anyone running with the ball to facilitate a lead block by pointing his hand, which was great for RBs (unlike the pointless OL Lead Blocking feature).  Strangely, this feature was gone in the later installment.  This is what EA is known for; developers put a feature in one year and it vanishes the following year.

The AI flaws occur in every aspect of the game.  For example, on offense, a WR could be the intended target and when the ball is in the air, he doesn’t even try to catch it.  He doesn’t even react to the ball.  Many times, the ball hits him directly in the back.  Every WR knows that when the ball is in the air, he needs to react and attempt to catch it, or knock it down if the defender is in position for an interception.  Therefore, why is this realism not in the game?

Another case in point occurs on defense when the DB has a clear-cut interception and doesn’t even put his hands up to catch the ball.  Because of such stupidity and lack of common sense, the ball hits him directly in the face or chest.  This is what gets one’s veins boiling.  At least attempt to catch the ball.  If things like these occurred in the NFL with a WR or DB, he would get a tongue-lashing from his coaches and probably released the following week.

EA claims to have enhanced the AI yearly, but it is slim at best because there’s really no headway.  In truth, the AI in Madden has been stuck on pure dumbness for years (even when the AI slider is at its max) and it continues in the latest installment – and developers at EA haven’t done anything to address the problem.

CPU QUICK-SNAP
The offense appears to be in extreme hyperactive mode with every snap. The user barely has enough time to adjust and setup his defense because the computer hikes the ball too quickly (no more than 2 seconds majority of the time).  The offense seems to be in hurry-up mode every single play. It’s an annoyance.  The only time this quick-snap glitch is not problematic is when the WR goes in motion or when the QB calls an audible, for it allows the user enough time to fix his defense accordingly.

WR DIRECT SNAP
This glitch has to be one of the most ridiculous glitches ever seen in a football game.  It is outright fatuous, unreal, and impossible.  When one is on offense, he can exploit this glitch by snapping the ball to a wide receiver, surprising the defense and getting easy yards.  Such play like this does not even occur in real life football, because it is impossible to pull off such feat.  There is no way a center can snap a football between his legs to a wide receiver when positioned horizontally yards away, so for a glitch of suchlike to creep its way into the game is strangely unprofessional.

To combat this unrealistic glitch, Cummings states:

“Not only are we fixing this play (i.e. we aren’t removing it)…”

Rather than eliminating this glitch altogether, he makes a clear contradictory statement by stating it will not be removed but will be fixed, which makes one wonder if it will be altered at all.

RAIN AFFECTING UNIFORM DEGRADATION
The precipitation in the game is incredible; the graphics are amazing.  However, the rain affects the degradation of both teams uniform too much, causing all players on the field to look like twins, literally.  What does this cause?  Confusion.  In fact, when players of both teams become dirty via mud, it is nearly impossible to recognize the user team from the opposing team (when the 3rd quarter begins), whether it be on offense or on defense.

The rain having influence on teams’ uniforms occurs in real life football, so it is great. But this rain issue that has everyone on the field looking similar when they are muddy is irritating and unreal.  The only way one can recognize his team is by the helmets, and even that is difficult at times.  For those who think this is far-fetched, play a game in the rain and it will be telling.  For EA technicians to not catch such glitch shows how pathetic their work ethic is.

OUT-OF-BOUNDS COMPLETION
Having one foot inbounds or out-of-bounds in the game is irrelevant.  A QB can throw a pass to a WR and rather it being an incomplete pass, it is considered a completed catch. One foot in and one foot out is an incomplete catch, but the game does not recognize that concept.  (The same nonsense occurs in Madden NFL 08.)  At times, a WR can be completely out-of-bounds, come inbounds and catch the ball, and it’s completed.

One would think the Challenge Play feature would aid this problem by reversing the call, but it too seems to be broken.  When an out-of-bounds catch is challenged, it fails to recognize that the play was indeed incomplete and does not change the bad call.  It happens all the time and nothing can be done about this glitch. What’s the point of the Challenge Play feature when such fundamental concept is not recognized?

UNIFORM SIMILARITY
The NFL has a strict rule regarding uniforms.  Teams must have a home uniform and away uniform.  It seems that EA rejected that rule and came up with its own rules.  For example, Miami Dolphins plays with the same all-white uniform in home games and road games.  After playing several games, it became apparent that Miami sported only its all-white uniform, including throughout the Franchise.

Miami Dolphins’ all-white uniform is actually a default for its home and away games.  It doesn’t matter which team Miami plays nor does it matter if it is a home or road game, the all-white uniform will be selected.  The only way to fight this uniform issue is to select another jersey manually.  Embarrassingly, developers didn’t even add Dolphins’ road uniform, its white jersey and aqua pants.

If Miami has this problem, it’s pretty evident that other teams may have the same issue as well. Yes, this may be a minor issue, but it shows that developers don’t care about details.  They completely ignored the concept of home and road uniforms and did whatever they pleased.

JERKS/PAUSES IN GAMEPLAY
The gameplay is uncanny and feels unreal because it has a lack of fluency.  Things are not as smooth as they should be; the movement of gameplay is somewhat slow.  Majority of the time after a play, the players pause for about two seconds and quickly jerk back. Another jerky issue occurs when a player breaks away and is about to score; as he runs, he pauses shortly and then gains speed.  This hitch is clearly visible because the player legs start moving faster.  Naturally, one does not pause to gain speed while running; one continues at pace which allows acceleration.

Another issue that needs to be addressed is the hurry-up offense (no huddle).  When the no huddle is employed, the QB lags behind while all of his players are set and ready.  For instance, A QB can complete 40-yard pass down the field, and when the no huddle is used, all of his offensive linemen make it to the line of scrimmage, while he lags behind. Offensive linemen are heavy and bulky players whose job is strenuous because they have to block defenders from getting to the QB – and they can run down the field faster and get to the line of scrimmage before the QB? It’s unrealistic and uses up time. In fact, the offensive linemen should be the ones who lag behind (and not the QB) like in real life.  This no-huddle glitch has been a fixture in the Madden series for years and it has not addressed by EA developers.

The lag doesn’t only occur in gameplay but so too the play call screen when exiting the menu.  To combat this glitch, Cummings state:

“We found and fixed a bug that was causing a noticeable hitch when exiting the play call screen.”

This fix sounds good, but the gameplay lag is much more important, and he fails to mention anything about it. People would much rather have a lag exiting the play screen rather than in gameplay, especially when the lagging issue at times causes the game to freeze.

Moreover, lagging happens when one is cycling through the menu, especially in Franchise mode.  The Franchise feature is broken itself, which will be addressed shortly, and the long delay (while flipping through menus and stats) makes it even worse.  Every stat menu takes about five seconds to appear after it is selected, which is ridiculously annoying.  Although these lagging issues are clearly visible in gameplay and menus, EA developers failed to recognize them or didn’t bother to fix them before the game was released, which says a lot about their quality control.

There are other glitches that will not be mentioned because the most important issue must be addressed: the FREEZING issue.

FREEZE ISSUE
This glitch is the biggest killer. The freezing occurs in Play Now and in every area of the game at random, but where it happens the most is in Franchise mode. It affects the Franchise mode tremendously and happens constantly, 100% of the time.

As a Dol-fan, the team of choice in Franchise was the Miami Dolphins. In Season 1, everything was going fine (including the “Training” mode) until the latter.  Around week 14, the Training mode and games being played started freezing.  The freezing in Training mode happens when one leaves the menu to see their players’ earned points. When one continues to the player’s two earned points, it just freezes (bringing back memories from Madden NFL 07 and 08).

Frustrating as this glitch was, the console (Xbox 360) was turned off and restarted.  The Franchise was loaded and Training mode was tried again, and the same thing occurred. Again, the console was turned off and restarted.  Rather than going back to Training mode, it was skipped, opting to only play the game.

From then on, only the games were being played without training any players. Subsequently, the games started to freeze up too.  In fact, I played the same team three times because it was continuously freezing; one game froze in the 4th quarter, but I remained persistent with anger. With all of these difficulties, Season 1 was finally completed.

Season 2 is when things really started to act up.  The game started to freeze while trades were being executed, while players were being signed, and the whole roster adjustments. After some turning off and restarting the console, my roster was finally set for pre-season.  Training mode was tried again, and again it failed via freeze. Instead of wasting time trying to combat this annoying glitch, the entire pre-season was simulated. This is where it gets worse.

I enter Season 2 and play game one.  The 15-minute quarter game goes well without any glitch; I return to the menu and attempt to use the Quick Save feature, and it freezes.  No longer could my anger be contained.  My controller nearly flew out of my hands and into the TV screen.  And yes, several expletives were said, especially having difficulties prior. Trying to simulate the week thereafter with the Quick Save feature still didn’t help because it froze.

This is when troubleshooting mood took priority.  Each game was simulated one by one which worked.  However, every time simulation (and Quick Save) was used to advance to week 2, the game froze.  This method was tried more than ten times straight and it failed. Trying to save the game the normal way also failed because it froze.  In other words, there is absolutely no way to advance to the following week, because it freezes in simulation and during saving.

Trying to find some answers, Training mode was selected again and, this time, the game froze while showing the NFL facts.  The Training mode can not be entered, period.  The game freezes in every aspect of Franchise.  After trying so many things, the conclusion was simple: there is no way to fight this issue. For example, a new Franchise was started and it too froze. Moreover, the game disc was exchanged for another new one, and the same thing continued to occur, proven that the game is, in fact, broken, poorly developed, and has a major freezing bug.

The calendar year reads 2008 and quickly moving to 2009.  This is not the year of Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo when games used to freeze when someone walks by the console, when thunder strikes, when rainstorm occurs, when construction is nearby, or when one makes a subtle movement with the controller.  Back then, people even had to combat freezing issues by blowing into the game cartridge, and putting it into the freezer for a few minutes.  Those years are gone and game discs have taken priority, so freezing issues should not be happening constantly.

This freezing issue with the Franchise is not new at all (EA knows about it), because Madden NFL 08 and 07 had the same problem.  This is what makes the issue more troubling, because EA has not addressed this ongoing glitch. How could developers not remedy an issue that was problematic in prior versions? Surprisingly, Cummings’ article-like blog says nothing promising about the freezing Franchise, nor do developers know the main culprit of the problem as the article states:

“On a side note, there is also a Franchise stability issue that we have been investigating, and we are working feverishly to get this figured out.” .

The way Cummings addresses the issue with “on a side note,” shows that EA doesn’t care too much about the problem. The article proves that because it touches on little issues (field problems, penalty sliders, etc.) and not the major ones.

The majority of gamers don’t care about field degradation or the ineffectiveness of penalty sliders.  Those are trivial issues.  Gamers want a pure game that plays without freezing.  Knowing that the issues mentioned in his blog are not so important compared to others, Cummings states:

“There are always going to be folks that are upset if what they felt was a top issue wasn’t addressed, but I’ll state again (as I have before) that we have to keep balancing this work against Madden NFL 2010.”

He is absolutely correct because people do have the right to be upset, mainly for two reasons: First, the most important issue which is the freezing was not seriously addressed; and second, people paid $64.19 for a game that is broken, nearly $100 if they purchased the collector’s edition. Clearly, those are grounds to be upset. To bring light to this pathetic situation, he brings up Madden NFL 2010. Who cares about Madden NFL 2010 when the latest version is riddled with bugs?

His following statement is even funnier:

“The longer we keep going on patches, the less we can add to the following year’s product.”

This statement sounds as if the customers are to blame – and not EA – for requesting a patch to remedy a situation that should have been taken care of before the game’s release.  In regard to add-ons to next year’s Madden, it’ll perhaps be limited, with better graphics and an updated roster.  In other words, EA will most likely not fix anything and put out a similar game without any major progression.

In reality, the most important and exciting feature in Madden is the Franchise, for it allows the users to play ultimate manager by playing owner of a team of his choosing. Without Franchise, Madden would be useless and boring – and the masses would not gravitate toward the game.  The Franchise feature allows people to achieve some feats with players and their team, so if freezing makes it unplayable, the game as a whole is fruitless.

What EA is doing to its loyal Madden customers is not only fraudulent, but it seems to be a purposeful act. EA doesn’t care to fix the many ongoing problems, because there is no competition.  Thus, EA continues to release lackluster games.  If competitors had the opportunity to produce NFL football games, some of EA’s products would never see the day of light. It would drive developers to put out better games that are free from glitches, rather than defective trash.

Back in the day, people had the options of playing various NFL football games such as the NFL 2K series, NFL GameDay series, NFL Quarterback Club series by Acclaim (defunct in 2004).  When these games were around, they obviously had their problems and some were quite terrible, but so did the Madden NFL series. Had these football series stayed alive, they would have made some advancement that EA has yet taken with the Madden series, and perhaps eclipse Madden’s superiority and popularity. However, because EA signed an exclusivity deal with the NFL, which runs until 2012, no other company can produce an NFL game.

This represents monopoly at its finest.  Why was the Sherman Act even passed in 1890 if this kind of violation can happen?  The Department of Justice needs to step in and regulate EA, in some form, because it is breaking antitrust laws.  Having to select from only one NFL game due to an exclusive license is an unfair practice. Gamers ought to have the right to have options, instead of having one option of a rehashed game.

This company is slimy.  Its sliminess is evident by the harassment of Take-Two currently, a rival game company that owns 2K Games and publishes its 2K Sports titles. Take-Two also develops and publishes the famous Grand Theft Auto series. If EA does takeover Take-Two, not only will it ruin its 2K Sports games but also their other popular titles.  This rapacious act is to limit competition.  If that’s not an act of monopoly, then what is?

(By the way, both ESPN NFL 2K5, released July 20, 2004, and All Pro Football 2K8, released July 16, 2008 by 2K are superior than Madden NFL 09.)

Nonetheless, after evaluating this game and finding so many glitches, it makes one wonder if EA developers even checked for problems.  Doesn’t this multi-billion dollar company have a quality control department?  More important, what do EA’s technicians/developers do all day?  Sit on their backside and play tic-tac-toe and SOS? Check their MySpace pages and chat with girls?  Spend all day on their cell phones? Reminisce about what happened over the weekend?  These are some serious questions that need to be asked, because the countless and blatant bugs that are in this game are unbelievable.

The NFL, NFL Players Association, and John Madden should be embarrassed for having their names and likeness involved with this game.  The NFL should revoke their exclusive license from EA, for their name is being exploited.

All in all, this game is nice in regard to graphics; the same can not be said for the players. The gameplay is okay, but it needs an overhaul.  However, because of so many glitches (especially the constant freezing), Madden NFL 09 is PURE REFINED GARBAGE, for it is unplayable.

EA is a multi-billion dollar company and has conned its loyal Madden supporters by constantly putting out defective products. Moreover, EA uses consumers as beta testers and later releases “patches” to remedy the problems.

The so-called patch that should be out in about 3 weeks shows how lethargic their work ethic is, and most likely will not remedy the freezing bug. If released through Xbox Live only, what will happen to those customers who have no access to the Internet? Will they be out of luck or will EA come up with a solution?

EA – and all of its employees that produced this trash of a game – ought to be ashamed for such disaster.  Electronic Arts should be renamed to Electronic Faults, because majority of its games are embedded with bugs. EA is known for defecating on its customers and, once again, it has accomplished that with Madden Defective Trash 09.

*  *  *

Originally published Aug. 30, 2008 via now-defunct writing Web site Helium.com

Album Review: New Waves (June 2017) by Bone Thugs (Krayzie Bone & Bizzy Bone)

Standard

Sunday; June 25, 2017


bone thugs backcoverWith more than 30 solo albums combined, Krayzie Bone and Bizzy Bone (recognized by many as the best members) of multi-platinum-selling rap group Bone Thugs-N-Harmony teamed up to release a duet album entitled New Waves on June 23, 2017 under the name Bone Thugs. While promoting the album, Krayzie and Bizzy made it clear on several occasions via interviews that their forthcoming album would not be the typical Bone Thugs-N-Harmony sound, for they were pursuing a different avenue musically and experimenting with different productions that would yield a modern sound. In one interview conducted by ThisIs50.com, published on its YouTube channel on May 5, 2017, Krayzie makes that clear:

“This album, like I tell everybody, if you think you’re finna go buy a Bone Thugs-N-Harmony album, then that’s not what you gonna get … because this is something different. We’re from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, but we’re trying a different approach. This is more of an upbeat album, not like Bone like where you get the more dark, eerie feel …”

In other words, Krayzie and Bizzy were looking to deliver a commercial album to grab the attention of non-Bone fans – and that is exactly what they accomplished with New Waves.

1. Coming Home (feat. Stephen Marley)
Released as the first single on March 24, 2017 and followed with a music video on May 8, 2017, “Coming Home” represents a pleasant-sounding song that presents a smooth production by Damizza, Avedon, and Clifford Golio. The content of the song concentrates on home and how it will always be the base, despite relocation and necessary travels – a theme that many can relate to if life circumstances have caused relocation to a different city, state, or even country.

The track features a verse by each member but fails to hit the 3-minute mark. Despite the shortness (which seems to be an issue throughout the album), everyone does a good job and delivers a good song. Krayzie vocalizes the first verse nicely with his smoothness and glamorizes about how his city of Cleveland, the place he was born and raised, will always be home because that is origin of his existence. Likewise, Bizzy shares similar sentiments by vocalizing his struggles on the streets of Cleveland and how Bone, as a whole, will never forget its root. Stephen Marley blesses the chorus with his singing and comes correct.

2. If Heaven Had a Cellphone (feat. Tank)
Released as the second single on June 9, 2017 in conjunction with a music video, “If Heaven Had a Cellphone” proposes a heavenly question and the action one would take if he or she could connect with a lost loved one (or anyone) in heaven through a cellphone. Backed with a mid-tempo production, this track sounds really nice and presents the usual quick-flow delivery from Krayzie and Bizzy, both of whom delivered a single verse. R&B singer Tank complements the two verses and does a great job passionately singing the chorus, which appropriately fades as the song ends.

In reference to the theme of heaven, this track has “Tha Crossroads” ambiance. After the major success of Grammy Award-winning song “Tha Crossroads,” which sold millions as a single subsequent to its release in 1995, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s major albums have always featured a single (along with a music video) that had a similar vibe as if the record labels were trying to reproduce “Tha Crossroads.” For example, Art of War (1997) produced “If I Could Teach the World,” BTNHResurrection (2000) produced “Change The World,” Thug World Order (2002) produced “Home” feat Phil Collins, Strength & Loyalty (2007) produced “I Tried,” and Uni5: The World’s Enemy (2010) produced “Meet Me In The Sky.”

The aforementioned tracks are superior; however, “If Heaven Had a Cellphone” can be placed in the same category, not in regard to content but in regard to the ambiance that it exudes.

3. Good Person (feat. Joelle James)
As soon as this remarkably tranquil music by producer Avedon begins to play, with the amazing voice of Joelle James, one emotion instantly came to mind: this song could be special – and goodness, special it is. “Good Person” sounds terrific and begins with an appealing chorus:

“Am I a good person / or is it something I’m telling myself to sleep at night? / Please say I’m worth it / ‘cause these demons are not letting go of my crippled mind.”

Krayzie melodically vocalizes his verse like a surgeon and manipulates his style to perfectly align with the beat. Bizzy, with his unmatched voice, glides his words like a sword that cuts through fine silk cloth. Joelle James, who executes the chorus, captivates the soul with her voice.

This track pours out a mellow vibe that strikes the eardrums in all the right places. If it were not for its shortness, it would have been flawless. On a scale of 1 to 10, “Good Person” receives a 9.5.

(I personally had this track on repeat for about 30 minutes after listening to the album.)

4. Fantasy (feat. Jesse Rankins)
Released as the third single on June 16, 2017 and accompanied with a music video, “Fantasy” represents an energetic funk song. This song wreaks a mawkish feel and borderlines corniness to some degree. There are many songs produced in the genre of funk that sound great, but this does not represent one of them. The chorus by Jesse Rankins sounds horrible – not to mention the overall sound of the song. In fact, Jesse Rankins sounds like Cee-Lo Green. If this song did not reveal the feature, majority of people who initially hear the song would think it features Cee-Lo Green, and that is not a hyperbole.

Despite such horrendous song, many people will enjoy its funkiness because it presents a party atmosphere that could be played in any festivity such as a club, a birthday party, a wedding reception, and the like. For that reason, it deserves a thumbs up. Commercially speaking, “Fantasy” could have been a hit had it featured Cee-Lo Green or even a talented artist like Bruno Mars – simply because they are famous artists and have a large fan base. One of their presences alone (specifically Bruno Mars) would have facilitated more views and attention.

5. That Girl (feat. Kaci Brown)
The title of “That Girl” speaks for itself: the theme concentrates on a girl (i.e., a lost girlfriend) whom they wish to reconnect with and regain that love. Moreover, the verses in some part praise and show love to women. The wish to reconnect with a lost love is solidified as Krayzie repeats the latter part of his first verse (after Bizzy’s verse) to show how badly he wants his love. Featured artist Kaci Brown sings well and sounds nice on the chorus. That said, there is nothing exciting to say about this song, for it does not spark any moving emotions. It’s a subdued track but not a thrilling one – and comes off as bland.

However, one message that can be extracted from “That Girl” is obvious: If a man is in a relationship and “that girl” leaves for whatever reason – and he truly believes that she is/was the one – then he should do everything in his power without comprising his self-worth and morals to regain that love. The same message can be shared for a woman who breaks up with her man.

6. Let It All Out (feat. Jazze Pha)
“Let It All Out” makes a strange appearance and sounds out of place, considering the fact that Krayzie (who delivers a nice verse) appears in the opening for 30 seconds and vanishes, while Jazze Pha takes over throughout; Bizzy is not featured. This song, actually, sounds like a Jazze Pha song that features Krayzie. If one enjoys upbeat music that features an artist screaming in conjunction with uninteresting lyrics, then he/she will enjoy this. In totality, this song is horrible and represents a filler track.

7. Waves (feat. Layzie Bone, Wish Bone & Flesh-n-Bone)
From uninteresting to pure satisfaction, “Waves,” which features all five members of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, represents an attention-grabbing melody that serves as a stimulant to one’s ears. Unsurprisingly, Krayzie opens with an amazing laid-back/harmonizing flow, where he sings in part: “I love this new wave that we’re on right, can we vibe can we vibe?” There is no question regarding likability, for most people will undeniably vibe to this song. It features Bone’s signature laid-back, harmonious, and quick-tongue ingredients, which all collide seamlessly to create a great song. Producer Scott Storch deserves a notable mention for crafting an incredible beat.

8. Whatever Goes Up (feat. Jonathan Davis of Korn)
“Whatever Goes Up” has a semi-rock feel to it, which is appropriate since it features Jonathan Davis of nu metal group Korn on the chorus. It typifies a satisfactory song that will hold the attention of some and dismay others who are not fond of this style of music.

9. Cocaine Love (feat. Bun B & Jesse Rankins)
“Cocaine Love” opens with a few words by Bizzy regarding deplorable women who manipulate men:

“You better never take them panties off this bitch. She’s a blind man’s drug, baby – a hustler’s nightmare. Men sell their souls for one …. She’s known to snatch your spirit out your chest and release you to the dirt from which you come from. Son, you better never take them panties off this bitch.”

Basically, this song concentrates on women (metaphorically, a deadly drug) who may have ulterior motives and take advantage of men via manipulation, which can leave men in a bad position. Yes, she may be attractive and lovely, but her spirit may be wicked and deadly. Women are no doubt men’s biggest enticement and weakness – and this track tells men to be careful, because that temptation may lead to a disastrous outcome.

The message in “Cocaine Love” comes through and the verses by Krayzie, Bizzy and Bun B make that obvious, including the chorus by Jesse Rankins. However, the overall vibe does not break through as memorable.

10. Bad Dream (Feat. Iyaz)
The theme of disgraceful behavior by women continues in “Bad Dream” with candid lyrics. Unlike “Cocaine Love,” which warns men to be cautious, “Bad Dream” holds nothing back and viciously attack foul women with profanity and unpleasant language.

Backed with a subdued beat in the opening, Krayzie starts the song conversing with a woman after waking up from a nightmarish dream: “I had a real bad dream last night, but at least I thought it was a bad dream. But then when I woke … I was laid up next to you, I realize it was that bad dream come true.” Thereafter, the music simultaneously transitions into an up-tempo beat as Krayzie jumps into his verse and makes it clear that he does not entertain conceited women, the “fake hoes,” the “stink hoes,” the “jezebel” and would “rather talk to [him]self” and “walk by [him]self” to avoid any problems in a relationship.

The notable chorus comes in with the following: “I had a bad dream last; you were standing in a different light. When I touch my eyes to wake up, they were open all along; now I’m shaked up. Bad dream, bad dream.” Special is one word that describes this chorus.

Like Krayzie, Bizzy’s verse goes off viciously – but in a more demeaning manner with language such as “cokehead slut” and other vulgar language that focuses on a woman that may have done and/or treated him badly through betrayal.

“Bad Dream” does not typify a great song, but it’s okay. One element that strongly shines is the chorus. The chorus gleams with a nice execution by Iyaz; its amazingly catchy melody will definitely have many repeating it from time to time after one listen.

11. Gravity (feat. Yellawolf)
The production of “Gravity” has a lot of clamoring instruments, making it strangely interesting. The verses in succession by Krayzie, featured artist Yellawolf, and Bizzy are good, but it does not have a remarkable replay presence. Nonetheless, “Gravity” represents a tolerable song that one could listen to here and there without pressing the skip button when it appears on the playlist. The female singer, believed to be Shaunice Jones, does a nice job executing the chorus.

12. Bottleservice
The only song on the album that does not feature an artist, “Bottleservice” represents an up-tempo, happy-filled party song; the music video shows the enthusiasm from Krayzie and Bizzy as they bounce, rap and sing with joy. It’s conceivable to pass by a club and hear this track loudly blasting while club-goers are crazily dancing, drinking and having a great time. Rather than getting high with weed, Krayzie and Bizzy want to get high with alcohol as Krayzie melodically vocalizes: “We’re just trying to fly through the sky, come let’s float; we’re trying to stay high rise way higher than most, rise way higher than most.”

Again, as mentioned prior, if one enjoys upbeat club music, then he/she will find this track appealing. If one does not enjoy club music, then he/she will not find it enjoyable.

13. Change the Story (feat. Uncle Murda)
“Change the Story,” an upcoming single that has a corresponding music video, touches on dead souls – a theme that Bone members in general have always touched on in their songs. Unlike “If Heaven Had a “Cellphone,” which concentrates on speaking to dead souls in heaven, this song wishes it could change the outcome of one’s demise and hope he or she was still presently living. Unsurprisingly, Krayzie delivers on the chorus as usual with his rawness. The verses by Krayzie and Bizzy are enjoyable and well executed.

Uncle Murda, on the other hand, sounds out of place and does not blend well with neither Krayzie nor Bizzy. Moreover, his rapping style does not complement the nice production by Avedon. While the styles of Krayzie and Bizzy present a serene approach, Uncle Murda’s flow presents a harsh tone. If he had elevated his verse and delivery, the song would be much better.

14. Ruthless (feat. Layzie Bone, Flesh-n-Bone & Eric Bellinger)
“Ruthless” stands as a robust track that pours out a fervent message of support for a loved one that is going through hardships. The amazing chorus says it perfectly:

“When the world has you cornered / and you can’t make a way / ‘cause time is growing shorter / not much more you can take / and oh when they’re gunnin’ with you in their sights / I’ll be your fighter, I’ll be ruthless for you / I’ll be your fighter, I’ll be ruthless for you.”

Lyrically and stylistically, Krayzie, Bizzy, Layzie and Flesh deliver noteworthy performances – not to mention Eric Bellinger who passionately croons the touching hook. “Ruthless” is so smooth throughout that it will capture most listeners’ attention once the song begins and after it ends.

15. Don’t Let Go (feat. Rico Love) Album Bonus Track
The album ends with another happy-thumping, upbeat, positive-thinking song that delivers the following message: love life, live freely, refrain from troubles, avoid negativity, enjoy every moment and opportunity – and never take life for granted, for each person has one life to live. “Don’t Let Go” represents another track that could be played at a party.

16. My Way (feat. DB Bantino) Digital Bonus Track
A nice bonus, “My Way” can only be obtained through digital download. Excluding the horrendous chorus by DB Bantino, which sounds like the current nauseating style adopted by many rap artists today, Bizzy and Krayzie deliver a hardcore, fast-spitting performance that will instantly grab the attention of long-time Bone Thugs-N-Harmony fans. The energy, the flow, the production, and the execution are on point. Krayzie and Bizzy definitely bring the heat. “My Way” could have been special, if not for the chorus. It’s hard to listen to such style of rapping from the current “hip-hop/rap artist” and not be turned off and disgusted. Nonetheless, it represents a very good song. Knowing the Bone community, an edit of the song – with the exclusion of the chorus – is probably floating around somewhere on YouTube.

Being that this is a bonus digital track and does not fit with the core sound of the album, it’s a pleasure that Krayzie, Bizzy, and their team decided to offer this rather than keeping it under wraps in a vault somewhere.

As expected, the album delivers something different and features various genres of music such as funk, R&B, techno, pop-rap, electronic and other forms. The overall sound can be characterized as friendly, upbeat, and feel-good.

New Waves is not groundbreaking, but it is a decent listen.

That said, the album presents two main issues: the brevity of songs and the overwhelming features throughout.

In regard to brevity, 9 songs (including the bonus track) on the album are less than 3 minutes. Out of those nine songs, “Coming Home,” “If Heaven Had a Cellphone,” ‘Good Person,” which are all noteworthy fall in that category. If these songs were longer, it could have propelled them to another level. It is also important to mention that both Krayzie and Bizzy deliver one verse on each song (excluding “That Girl” where Krayzie repeats the latter part of his verse, and the absence of Bizzy in “Let It All Out”). This tactic is unusual. Moreover and shockingly, the album does not feature a back-and-forth harmonious connection between Krayzie and Bizzy; instead, the songs are executed with a verse-chorus-verse-chorus motif.

In regard to features, the album features an artist on every song, with the exception of “Bottleservice,” another approach that is uncommon. Because of this, the duet-album label stands questionable, because it feels like a collaboration album and not a true duet album. Make no mistake, some of the features are great (e.g., Joelle James, Tank, Eric Bellinger, Stephan Marley, and Iyaz), but the bombardment of features can not go unnoticed.

As a whole, New Waves has some good songs, but the long-term replay value is slim to none. Will some enjoy the album from start to end? Yes. If one enjoys dance music, club music, electronic music, disco music that have an upbeat feel to it, then he or she will certainly enjoy the album. If one does not fancy such style of music, then he/she will enjoy a few songs on the album. The album produced enough styles for anyone to select a single song or multiple songs that are enjoyable.

If people can enjoy trash music from the likes of Migos, Future, Young Thug, Lil Yachty and all the current artist that share the same rapping motif, then there is no reason whatsoever for them not to enjoy this album, for it is musically better – and features two legendary artists who are actually rapping/singing rather than talking and mumbling their gums on beats.

Nonetheless, the songs that are memorable are as follows: “Waves,” “Good Person,” “If Heaven Had a Cellphone,” “Coming Home,” “Ruthless,” and “My Way.” From this list, “Good Person” stands firm as the best song on the album.

In closing, New Waves is not a bad album or a great album; it falls in the middle as a decent album with some good tracks. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s manager Steve Lobel should be applauded for bringing Krayzie Bone and Bizzy Bone together to deliver an album that thumps a different sound.

On a letter-grade scale, New Waves receives a deserving C grade; commercially, it receives an A because they accomplished the sound they were pursuing that will grab listeners who are not the long-standing Bone Thugs-N-Harmony fans.